IMO No.11: The Real Gateway Drug Is Loneliness

CYA Disclaimer: This article is not medical advice, psychological counseling, or an excuse to start hotboxing your loneliness in the garage. If you're struggling, talk to someone qualified. I am a person on the internet with strong opinions and a love for well-rolled joints, not your therapist. Unless you’re my friend, in which case—text me back, you ghost.

Let’s be honest: we’re all lonely sometimes. Some of us are just better at hiding it behind busy schedules, full calendars, and aggressively organized spice racks. But deep down? Most of us are one skipped group text away from wondering if we accidentally got voted off the island.

And no one told us growing up that loneliness—not cannabis—was the real gateway drug. Not to ruin, but to that quiet, low-key despair that sneaks up on you while you're in line at Target wondering why the cashier didn’t ask about your day.

Even the U.S. Surgeon General has said it: loneliness is a legit threat. Not just emotionally, but physically. Like, “this is as bad as smoking a pack of cigs a day” bad. Turns out, disconnection is rough on the ol’ nervous system. Who knew?

The Surgeon General Said It—So It’s Basically Law

In 2023, Dr. Vivek Murthy did something pretty unusual for a U.S. Surgeon General: he issued an official public health advisory about loneliness. That’s right—not measles, not COVID, not opioids. Loneliness. As in: sitting-on-your-couch-in-silence-wondering-if-anyone-would-notice-you-missing kind of lonely.

This level of advisory is rare. Historically, these warnings have been reserved for major, often life-threatening health emergencies—things like smoking, obesity, or infectious disease outbreaks. So when the country’s top doctor essentially said, "Hey America, we're all low-key spiraling—let's fix that," it was a big deal.

He called loneliness a public health crisis. Not a buzzword. Not a mood. A crisis with serious health consequences. According to the advisory, chronic loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and increases the risk of dementia, stroke, heart disease, and premature death. That’s not just sad—that’s medical-grade urgent.

And I took that personally. "My doctor just told me to start throwing parties! Best Doctor EVER!" Intimate, connective, meaningful ones. That idea was part of what lit the match for Dexter Co. Because if our collective cure is connection, then we need spaces designed for exactly that. And cannabis? Can be a cool the bridge. The social starter. The vibe-setter. Maybe what we need is a little less alcohol and a little more cannabis—something that opens us up rather than numbs us down. Something that says, "let’s connect" instead of "let’s forget."

Now, I’m not saying cannabis is the magical solution. And I’m definitely not saying more is better. Too much cannabis can shut a conversation down faster than a toddler with a sharpie. No one wants to talk to someone who’s 12 feet deep in the couch, trying to remember their own name. What we’re talking about here is thoughtful, intentional, smaller doses—just enough to open up empathy and ease, not derail the vibe entirely. Microdosed connection, if you will.

But yeah, I am saying: it helps.

Cannabis: Surprisingly Great for Awkward Humans

Let’s face it, sometimes starting a conversation feels like trying to merge onto a highway with no on-ramp. Enter: cannabis. It’s the social elevator button we can all reach.

You share something—maybe a moment, maybe a laugh, maybe a cannabis edible—and next thing you know, someone’s telling you about their childhood fear of animatronic bears. Boom—human connection.

Cannabis takes the edge off. It helps us unclench. It lets us drop the act and, dare I say, get a little real. It’s not that we suddenly become sages—it’s that we become available. Emotionally, conversationally, spiritually… snack-ily.

Escaping vs. Connecting (There’s a Difference)

Look, sometimes people use cannabis to check out. That’s fair. Life is… a lot. And hey—full honesty? I do it too. Sometimes you just need to get drunk with your best friend, rant about life, and laugh until you forget why you were crying. There's nothing wrong with that in moderation. This is not a perfection pageant. It's real life.

But when it comes to cannabis, the real magic shows up when we use it to check in—not zone out. Are you in the driver’s seat and cannabis is making the ride amazing? Or are you just along for the ride, frantically trying to buckle your seatbelt? That’s the difference. Dosage matters. Intention matters. And being present enough to connect? That’s everything.

Because when used with intention, cannabis doesn’t fog the mirror—it wipes it clean. It gives you a chance to feel something instead of just scrolling past it.

The point is, cannabis isn’t some morally inferior coping tool—it’s just one of many ways people take the edge off. The difference is, with the right dose and intention, it doesn’t bury your feelings—it lets you explore them. Laugh through them. Maybe even share them. That’s not just escape—that’s range with benefits. Oh and no hangover.

Loneliness Isn’t a Personal Failing—It’s a Team Sport

Here’s the thing: loneliness isn’t just a “you” problem. It’s an everyone problem. We’re out here trying to survive tariffs, capitalism, pandemics, and the slow death of the dinner party.

We weren’t designed for this much independence. Humans are pack animals—we need community, belly laughs, someone to help us move a couch without asking why we still own DVDs.

But community doesn’t just happen anymore. You have to build it. And that’s why I host Dex Parties—intimate, cannabis-forward gatherings for people who want to hang without the pressure of being “on.” No name tags. No forced mingling. Just vibes, great food, amazing cocktails, good flower, and the shared understanding that we’re all doing our best.

The Real Gateway? Vulnerability.

You know what opens the door to real connection? It’s not the strain, or the perfect playlist, or even the snacks (though, those help). It’s being willing to be seen.

Cannabis helps take the armor off. Not in a dramatic, “sob on the floor” kind of way (unless that’s your thing), but in a hey-I-can-finally-say-I-miss-people kind of way. That’s powerful.

So yeah, cannabis can be a gateway. But not to chaos—to closeness.

So What Does This Look Like in Practice?

• Porch sessions > parties.
  Low-key hangs with one or two people can be more nourishing than a 40-person potluck where you forget everyone’s name.
• Pass the joint, skip the small talk.
  Ask better questions. “How’s your heart?” beats “What do you do?” every time.
• Smoke and stroll.
  Walking while lightly lifted is wildly underrated. You connect with nature, your friend, and your inner child who’s still impressed by ducks.
• Light up with intention.
  Create rituals. Light a joint and say what you’re grateful for. Share stories. Play “high or just emotional?” It works.
• Know your dosage.
  This is not a contest. No one’s handing out trophies for hitting the moon. You want to be present, not horizontal.

Real Talk: We Just Want to Belong

You can have a thousand followers and still feel invisible. Or you can sit on a back porch, pass a joint, and feel like you belong in the world again.

That’s what this is about. Not weed. Not wellness. Not vibes for the ‘gram.

Connection. The thing we’re all low-key desperate for but too cool to admit.

So… Now What?

Start small. Text someone. Invite them over without cleaning first. Share your stash. Ask real questions. Take the pressure off. Let cannabis be the backdrop, not the point.

And when you find that moment—that flicker of “oh, this is nice”—lean in. That’s the antidote. That’s the gateway worth walking through.

Final Note (and Another CYA, Because Why Not):
If you're feeling truly overwhelmed or isolated, please don’t try to fix it with a brownie. (Trust me, one too many and you’ll be too high to even spell “connection.”) Talk to someone. Reach out. You deserve support. Cannabis can be part of the picture—but it’s not the whole canvas. You are not alone, even when it feels like it. Promise.

In the next article:

IMO No.12: Small Talk Is a Disease. Cannabis Might Be the Cure
A piece on how cannabis helps cut through the fake pleasantries and get to something real. Forget surface-level chit-chat and awkward networking banter—this is about honest conversations, shared laughs, and actual connection. Sometimes a joint is all it takes to skip the nonsense and talk like humans again.