Navigating Cannabis Dosing: How to Avoid Accidental Time Travel
By Dexter, Founder of Dexter Co
Cannabis dosing is an art, not an exact science—kind of like making a great cup of coffee, but with higher stakes. Unlike traditional medications where a doctor says, "Take two and call me in the morning," cannabis requires a personalized approach because everyone reacts differently. Too much, and you’re convinced your couch has become a sentient being. Too little, and you’re wondering if you even took anything at all.
So, let’s break it down in a way that saves you from Googling “why do I feel like a floating marshmallow?” at 2 AM.
Step One: The Golden Rule of Cannabis – Start Low, Go Slow
Repeat after me: start low and go slow. This is your new mantra. Ignore it, and you may find yourself questioning reality in a way you did not plan for. Cannabis overdosing won’t send you to the hospital (probably), but it can send you into an existential spiral of wondering if time has stopped. Let’s avoid that.
Starting Low:
- If you’re inhaling (smoking or vaping), start with one small puff and wait. Seriously. Put the vape down. Give it a few minutes.
- If you’re taking edibles, begin with 2.5 to 5 mg of THC and do not eat another one just because you’re impatient. The effects can take up to two hours to show up, and trust me, they will show up.
Going Slow:
- For smoking or vaping: Wait 30 minutes before taking another puff.
- For edibles: Wait at least 2 hours before even considering another dose. (And even then, maybe reconsider.)
Patience is your best friend here. Think of it like baking—you wouldn’t open the oven and eat raw cookie dough just because you’re tired of waiting. Well…maybe you would, but let’s not treat cannabis the same way.
Step Two: Know Your Delivery Method (a.k.a. How Fast Are We Boarding the Cannabis Express?)
Different ways of consuming cannabis hit differently—and at different speeds. Choose wisely.
Inhalation (Smoking/Vaping)
- Onset: 1-5 minutes
- Duration: 1-3 hours
- Best for: Quick effects and easy dose adjustments.
- Risk factor: Taking too many hits too quickly and suddenly realizing you can hear colors.
Edibles (Gummies, Brownies, Beverages, and Other Dangerous Delights)
- Onset: 30 minutes to 2 hours (yes, really, WAIT).
- Duration: 4-8 hours (sometimes longer, buckle up).
- Best for: Long-lasting effects, discreet consumption.
- Risk factor: "This isn’t working, I’ll take more," followed by instant regret.
Sublinguals (Tinctures/Oils under the Tongue)
- Onset: 15-30 minutes
- Duration: 4-6 hours
- Best for: Precise dosing without waiting an eternity.
- Risk factor: Accidentally swallowing instead of letting it absorb under your tongue—turning it into an edible experience instead.
Topicals (Lotions, Balms, and Patches for the "Cannabis Without the High" Crowd)
- Onset: 10-20 minutes
- Duration: Several hours
- Best for: Pain relief without psychoactive effects.
- Risk factor: Rubbing it on your skin and expecting to feel high (you won’t).
Step Three: Factors That Affect Your Dose (or, Why Your Friend Can Smoke Like Snoop Dogg and You Can’t)
Cannabis affects everyone differently, and a few key factors determine your experience:
- Body Weight & Metabolism: Faster metabolism? You may process THC quicker. Slower metabolism? Buckle in, you’re in for a ride.
- Tolerance Level: First time? Go small. Daily user? You probably already know your sweet spot.
- Strain & Potency: Not all cannabis is created equal. High THC? Stronger effects. High CBD? Milder, more therapeutic.
- Desired Effects: Are you trying to chill, focus, sleep, or question your existence? Your goal matters.
Step Four: What to Do If You Take Too Much (a.k.a. Don’t Panic, But Maybe Put Your Phone Away)
So, you ignored my advice and took too much? Cool, cool. Here’s what you need to do:
- Remain calm. No one has ever actually overdosed from cannabis. You are not going to be stuck like this forever.
- Drink water and eat a snack. A good distraction and hydration help.
- Try CBD. CBD can counteract THC’s psychoactive effects and take the edge off.
- Get comfy. Lie down, watch a show, and let time do its thing.
- Avoid texting your ex. Just don’t. No explanation needed.
CYA Time: Read This Before You Get Too Excited
Alright, before you take this newfound knowledge and run straight to your local dispensary, let’s get something straight: I am not a doctor, and neither is Dexter Co. (Hard to believe, I know.) This guide is for education and entertainment only, not medical advice. If you have any health conditions, are taking medication, or just want to be extra cautious, talk to your doctor first.
And remember, cannabis is meant to enhance your life, not send you into an existential crisis. Start small, be patient, and above all—don’t be that person who eats the whole edible because they got impatient. It never ends well.
Now go forth, dose wisely, and may your cannabis experience be nothing but smooth sailing.
Let’s Dex,
Dexter
Founder, Dexter Co
